What is it with fans?
by Cold War Takeover
Summary: Yeah, yeah, I know most people could care less for my essays, writing class assignments, and journal entries, but oh well. This is a compilation of essays, assignments, etc. that are completely Hetalia focused. Human names and nation names both used.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: What is it with fans and trying to spread the word of Hetalia?**

**Sum.: You know who you are. The Hetalia fan so crazy for the show that, when presented with a free-choice writing assignment, you write fanfiction. This a compilation of all those papers.**

**A/N: Yep. You hear me right. It's all of the papers I've written for classes in the past year that have to do with Hetalia! ^^ I got the idea for this when going through some old school documents and finding a paper I wrote for my Reading class. See, when you first get in the class in the morning, you have to answer a Literature-related question on a piece of paper. When the week is over, you turn the paper into your teacher. If you have more than three missing at the end of the nine-weeks, you are told to either (A) write one page of story for each one missing bellwork (for that's what it's called) or (B) write a two page essay on a question asked, and have all of the bellworks excused.**

**Several stories in here are from type A, and one or two are from type B. ^^ (There's also a few stories in here from my English class *laughs*)**

**So, R&R and ejoy!**

**TYBE B – Topic: Cliché Character Types in Your Favorite Book/Show**

There are many cliché character types. From the list I have received, I immediately thought of one specific show when looking upon certain types. And what show would that be? None other than my well-worn-and-used Hetalia: Axis Powers.

Let me begin explaining. Each character is the human equivalent of each actual nation. Each character is, rather stereotypically, designed around what most people think of when they think of that country's population. For instance, Germany is blonde, has blue eyes, and is extremely tall and strong, and pays extreme attention to keeping things in order and takes things very seriously. North Italy has red-brown hair and gold-brown eyes, and is extremely cheerful and affectionate. And France is an absolute romantic (read: pervert) with blonde hair and blue eyes who overuses his native tongue.

Now, how could common _American _stereotypes fit in with such a wide array of characters? The entire Earth is filled with humans, and, despite nationality, everyone acts upon human nature. Every child cries when they are born, every kid doesn't want to share their toys, and every teenager cherishes freedom.

Which sets me up perfectly for cliché character 1: The wild, rambunctious idiot who means well but messes everything up. This would fit perfectly for America, or "Alfred Freedom Jones." America would also fit well into the "Eats constantly but never seems to gain any weight" category. America has blonde hair and blue eyes, has a hero complex (which was decided on due to such things as Vietnam and Korea), and overeats Hamburgers. (In fact, you rarely see him without one, it would seem.)

On the note of "rarely seen without _", let me present Austria (Roderich Edelstein.) I have not seen a fan-story made yet where he has not been playing the piano, due to his country's deep roots concerning classical music. Roderich (or 'Roddy') would fit perfectly into character type 4: "The serious character that is a (pansy) scholar and rarely does anything but focus on the arts."

Speaking of scholars, I can not help but immediately think of character type 3: "The nerd who is extremely advanced when it comes to computers and/or technology." I immediately think of Estonia, or Eduard. The middle-most Baltic nation is always portrayed as a computer geek. And he has glasses. Typical sign of a nerd. (Not that glasses are generally nerdy of course, but people always associate it with people more smart than people with perfect eyesight.) But this is media—glasses are used to depict such things.

Character type 7: "The fraidy cat who is constantly bullied by character type 8 (which I will get on to in a moment) but has the gusto to stand up for himself at some point." Enter, Lithuania (Toris). He is usually mentioned when things turn to the USSR, and is rarely shown as otherwise in episodes. Him and the other Baltics are constantly teased and picked on (as well abused, but let's try to keep this essay cheerful) by Russia, but most people easily say that Toris is Russia's favorite, in both affection and anger.

Which brings me to character type 8: "The brawny character that constantly picks on others and has, on some level, a strange way of speaking." Russia (Ivan Braginsky) is usually called fat by characters, but every fan(girl) knows in their (her) heart that Russia is pure muscle under his beige coat. He literally considers "partitioning Poland" as a hobby, has a big soft spot for his sisters and sunflowers, carries around a water faucet, and says "Da" and, less often, "Nyet" on an every-sentence basis. (Da meaning yes, and nyet meaning no. Other characters in the series have similar problems, but they seem less strange to us Americans. Because we are most definitely not at all open to Russians, and, inadvertently, their language.)

Getting slightly off track, there are several ideas as to what the Cold War was. I have seen many, many ideas for this, but the most popular three I have seen are "Unresolved Sexual Tension," America's frustration with "Russian Mind Games", and (potrayed in a fan-picture) Russia doing the ever childish "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you!" game.

Another character type that fits perfectly into APH would be character type 13, the "Careless, rambunctious idiot who is completely full of themselves and overuses a specific word." That would most definitely describe Prussia (Prussia. Not Russia, _Prussia_.) Also know as Gilbert Beilschmidt. While he is most certainly not based off of an actual stereotypical appearance, he definitely has an odd appearance. He has white (or metallic, as some fans put it) hair, red eyes, and pale skin. An albino. He is always overusing the word 'awesome' and generally uses it to describe himself. There are three (sometimes four) things that Gilbert will admit are as awesome has himself. (German) Beer, Gilbird (the chick that sits on his head and says 'piyo~'), and Canadian pancakes. (Although, in turn, some people—mostly supporters of PruCan, the pairing for Canada and Prussia—say that Prussia also thinks that Canada has 'awesomeness comparable to himself.') Prussia is almost _always _depicted as Germany's older brother.

Which brings me to character type 11. The character always ignored and soft-spoken, but is incredibly strong-willed towards a certain thing. This describes Canada to the 't'. Canada, or Matthew Williams, is generally depicted as America's younger twin brother. Matthew (Mattie) has a large preference to maple syrup (and especially Canadian maple syrup) and pancakes. He carries around a white polar bear (due to the cold Canadian weather) that is named Kumajirou and constantly forgets who his owner is. While America is usually depicted as being raised by England, Canada is always shown as brought up by France.

Since I just mentioned him, I will bring this around to England. His cliché character type actually has a Japanese anime name for it. While us Americans would call him the "Moody and sarcastic on the outside but caring and well-meaning on this inside," the Japanese anime fans would call him 'tsundere.' England is constantly using British slang, but gets onto America for not speaking proper English. While England and America had it rough in the past (hence, Revolutionary War), they have a sort of hateful-brotherly-love relationship. England is stereotypically said to not be able to cook food for the life of him, believes in fairies and unicorns, practices dark magic, and knows how to play guitar. (All of these based upon certain time periods in the UK's history.)

While I most certainly have not gone through the entire list of character types, I feel I must stop here. I have exceeded my two page requirement, and what self-respecting teenage school student would do unnecessary work? (Despite how I love talking about Hetalia to non-fans.)

In closing, it is easy to say that even Japanese culture has American cliché character types in their media. Axis Powers Hetalia has easily proven that. (Ms. Ajskajdhksj, if you ever find that you somehow, against what you have previously told me, desire to watch this show, I recommend going to watchanimeon. Com/anime/axis-powers-hetalia/ )

**Hahaha. I had fun writing that paper. Her name is not, in fact, Ajskajdhksj, but I do not have her permission to use her name, so I have "censored" it. XD**

**Actually, almost every single character type fit perfectly with another. Although the "Matchmaker" type didn't exactly see eye to eye with Hungary. (Has anyone else noticed that if you typo Hungary, it's Hun-gay? Maybe that's why she's the rabid yaoi fan she is. *laughs*)**

**Oh, lord, I just now remembered the parody assignment we had to write in English! I'll most definitely upload that one next! XD Ta-ta for now, my lovelies, and please review! ^^ Hope you all enjoyed, my little ducklings!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: What is it with fans and trying to spread the word of Hetalia?**

**Sum.: You know who you are. The Hetalia fan so crazy for the show that, when presented with a free-choice writing assignment, you write fanfiction. This a compilation of all those papers.**

**A/N: Oh, I just realized that "spreading the word of Hetalia" easily fits with "spreading the word of the bible" or "spreading the word of God" XDDDD Well, I would assume most fans would agree that Hetalia is something sacred, or is that just me and my obsession with it? (P.S. My reading teacher gave me a B+ on the last assignment, and then wrote a note telling me "Why don't you tell your Geography teacher about that anime?" I thought about telling her "because he's a man" but she wouldn't understand. What is it with American adults and their distaste for yaoi? *cries*)**

**This paper was for my English class. The teacher said it could be as long as we wanted, at the bare minimum of one five-sentence paragraph. You won't believe how many kids wrote one paragraph *sighs* We had to read these aloud, and I was lucky that the girl before me wrote five pages—she took up all the time for reading, and I ended up not having to read it! *fist pump* Besides, the high romance content probably wouldn't have been exactly something I'd be proud of, even if most of the couples had at least one gen-flipped character. (Because, like I said, teachers frown upon yaoi. And incest.)**

**R&R and enjoy! ^^**

**TYPE C (English assignment) – Topic: Rewrite a scene from a story or show you have seen, and make it to your liking**

**P.S. That assignment I cheated by writing a chapter from an unpublished story of mine. *laughs* But my teacher didn't have to know that.**

Katherine ***CENSORED***

5th Hr/English

11/17/09

"**Curse This Sexist World – Chapter 5 excerpt, Rewritten"**

I rubbed my head. "Ouch. Are you alright, bro?" I turned to Matthew. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I am alright. Although I would be more worried by who you ran into." He nodded in the direction where a very quiet pained groan ensued.

I dusted myself off and then squinted at the ground, looking for my glasses.

"A-Avery?" whoever it was that I had run into squeaked. As my fingers brushed my glasses, I faintly felt like I knew that voice from somewhere—

Oh God. Oh hamburgers Oh everything sacred and smothered in ketchup. I pulled my glasses on and gasped. "Toris?"

I stared at the man in front of me. He stared back. "Why are you here?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I could ask you the same."

He blushed. "I got a scholarship here, so I thought, since it gets such good reactions, I might as well come here for four years if it's going to be free anyway." He studied me closely. "Now, would you kindly return the favor and answer the question?"

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. "Um, well, you know I always wanted to be a fighter pilot and since graduates from here are almost always accepted into the best of the best when it comes to flight schools, I thought I could, y'know, pretend to be a guy for four years until I got my degree."

He sighed. "You and you're foolish plans." He then turned to Matthew. "Now who's this? I don't remember you having a brother."

Matthew snorted. "It'd be nice to know who you are, too."

I blushed. "Um, well, uh. Toris and me kind of…dated…during high school."

Matthew looked at me skeptically. I didn't usually introduce people like that. "What are you hiding?"

I grinned. "Okay, so he lived with me for the lsat year of high school." Matthew facepalmed and Toris blushed.

"How did you accomplish that with your mother, eh?" Matthew asked.

I shrugged. "Well, Mom emancipated me because she was moving in with her fiancé and you and Dad were in Canada, so…"

"So he _is _your brother. Are you two twins?" Toris asked, shock already washed away. Ah, that was why I liked Toris so much. He could remain calm in all of my hair-tearing catastrophes.

"Yep! Mattie knew he had a twin sister, but I didn't even know I had a sibling." I flashed a thumbs-up sign. "It was quite a scandal when he first saw me, although he didn't tell any of my roommates as soon as he found out."

Toris wrinkled his nose. "You have roommates?"

I pouted. "Oh, come on, you of all people should understand that I can safely live with boys my age without being mentally traumatized."

"I was more worried for your roommates…" I punched him lightly on the arm.

"Hahahaha, you're so funny, Toris, always telling jokes," I grinned at him. Best way to hide the hurt? Pretend you didn't realize they were serious!

Toris rolled his eyes. He already knew that I did that when hurt. "Sorry, Avery, but it _is _the truth."

I rolled my eyes. "It is pretty hard, since they don't pick up my messes like you did."

He frowned. "I wasn't just a maid, Avery…!"

I grinned at him and slung my arm around his shoulder. "Of course not! It's too bad we broke it off, y'know? You were really good at keeping me in line. Now I'm stuck with a stupid Brit who confiscates my cell phone and tells me to do my homework."

"That's exactly the same thing I did, Ave."

I shrugged. "You bribed me, though. You took care of me in a way where I always wanted to refuse to do jack just so I could be bribed with—"

"Avery!" both boys shouted at me.

I grinned. "T-M-I?"

Matthew nodded, and Toris face-palmed.

**Hahaha. If I ever publish that story, I'll have to definitely thank my English teacher. (Actually, this was supposed to just be a oneshot that I was going to publish later that day, but when I wrote "Chapter 5" which it most certainly will not be, I decided I wanted it to be a chapter story. So now I have two chapters (this one and the first one), and I don't publish a story until the second chapter is finished. *nods***

**Hope y'all enjoyed this! ^^ Review!**


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